Savoring the Time Before My Final Birth
Bump Squad mama Emily looks back on the freedom and peace of her last pregnancy.
In less than a month, I’ll welcome my fourth and final baby. I know this for certain having already signed the forms for my Fallopian Tube removal during my scheduled caesarean section. It’s a weird mix of emotions knowing my daughter’s birth date prior to her arrival (though, she may surprise us all if she decides to come prior to the scheduled time!). But, I’m feeling more ready than I ever thought possible.
I wasn’t sure we’d have a fourth. I wasn’t even sure we’d have a third, for that matter! It took us a while to conceive our first, so I’ve tried to approach each pregnancy with as much gratitude and patience as possible, knowing it’s never guaranteed. This pregnancy hasn’t flown by, however. In fact, it was nearly this time last year that I found out I was expecting again, and we sadly lost that baby shortly after the first trimester. We were blessed to get pregnant again quickly, so instead of the usual 9 months, I truly feel like I’ve been pregnant for a full year!
For me, this journey has taken patience and a lot of prayer to pace myself and my energy as the due date approaches. Earth Mama’s Organic Peaceful Mama Tea has been a lifesaver through this pregnancy. Not only is it delicious (hot or cold) but, I try to remind myself to slow down and savor each sip – just like this pregnancy. I breathe in the scent, calm my mind, and do my best to relax and reflect and allow a moment for body/mind connection.
As a Marriage & Family Therapist who helps prenatal and postpartum mamas, something I often tell my clients (and try to practice myself), is to engage as many senses as possible when I’m trying to have a peaceful moment. What do I smell? Taste? See? Feel? Hear? When I really stop and ask myself these simple questions, I can feel the full benefit of a “time out”. So, in addition to sipping my favorite tea, sometimes I’ll add a belly rub of the Earth Mama Organics Belly Oil or Belly Butter, or use their Lip Balms (Lavender Meringue flavor is my favorite) to soothe my dry lips as I prep to pucker up for many baby cheek kisses in my future!
The key word here is savor. These moments are precious, and while I am counting the minutes until I meet my next daughter, my impatience is balanced with a healthy dose of gratitude. There’s a big misconception in our society that you can’t be both thankful and irritated (or frustrated, disappointed, impatient, etc.) at the same time. I say, these people must not be parents! We are complex beings with a variety of emotions to hold all at once, and something I’ve grown accustomed to as a mother is the difficult balance in carrying mixed emotions at once.
So much freedom and peace can be found in this revelation. The ability to hold gratitude alongside discomfort, to contain hope along with anxiety, and to embrace calm while tolerating distress. It’s hard! Much harder than it sounds. Yet, if you are a mother, I bet you know this tension all too well. You’re not alone and you’re not crazy either!
I’m in the “home stretch” of my final pregnancy, and this emotional roller coaster doesn’t seem to be slowing down. I know there will be days ahead that I will miss her little kicks and want to relive this experience. I am sure I will longingly look at pregnant women down the road with a fondness and a forgetfulness of all the aches and pains I’m currently experiencing. So, because of my impatience (not in spite of it) I’m doing my best to stop and savor the sweet sensations in their full glory. I hope you can savor the season you are in as well; with all the ups and downs and emotions that are stretching and growing you into who you need to be. Deep breath. You got this!